People with Autism are very generous.
I haven’t written much about my brother recently, probably because everything is ticking a long quite nicely. This week I have been thinking about his generosity towards others. How he always gives to a homeless person in the street and how he will put his change in a charity box at a till.
I see him every couple of weeks, which is amazing seeing as before he was sectioned last year, I only saw him once or twice a year, and only then when I was called upon when there had been some upset in his flat or dispute with a neighbour. We meet in taunton for lunch, and sometimes a trip to a super market for some supplies. If you missed all the 2016 news check here.
Planning ahead is tricky.
Earlier this week we went to The Cosy Club in Taunton. He likes it because we can sit in the window and look out over the gardens or the street. Funny really as he never really looks out. He focusses entirely on his food. He doesn’t talk and eat. No multi tasking for him! I don’t think you can say it’s a mindful experience, I just know we have to get the chat and questions in before the food arrives.
We went in on Shrove Tuesday. I thought he may like to try a pancake. No. He doesn’t like pancakes because they ‘look like omelettes’, and he doesn’t like omelettes, because they are like pancakes. Work that one out. Is it the shape, texture or taste? Who knows?
The same routine every time.
He always likes to put his change in this NSPCC charity box. Every time we visit. He drops money in while I pay the bill. I don’t think he knows what the charity is, he just likes dropping the coins in, saying it’s ‘only coins’ and he should give them away to people who may need them. I hope they never move it! That will confuse him.
Food shopping needs to be a speedy process.
Having had lunch we pottered in to Lidl. As he likes consistency, he only shops there with me, liking the fact I can get all the bags in the car even though it’s a Mini. Spacial awareness is another oddity for someone who is autistic.
He was proudly telling me that one of the (Mencap) Team who supply his care, had helped him make a stir fry, so I suggested we get some more ingredients to do another one. No. This wasn’t a good idea, as he got that from Morrisons, and we were in Lidl. So he would leave it. There’s no point in trying to persuade him, you just have to go with it.
The gift of a cake.
He wanted to buy one of the care team a Danish Pastry. Heaven knows why it had to be a Danish, but he was very specific. He thought it was quite funny, giggling away to himself, so we popped one in the trolley. He chose to buy someone else a cake.
To my dismay – a Pot Noodle!
‘I could have this.’ He said as he shook the pot. I was trying to think of what to say to get him to change his mind, and explaining it wasn’t very good for him as it wasn’t fresh food. ‘Well, they advertise it on TV so it has to be ok.’ He said as he put it in the basket.
Sigh. Well, what can you do? In the grand scheme of things one pot noodle isn’t going to kill him. A lesson for me in allowing and not judging. We did get some yoghurt and some fruit juice so I guess that’s ok for now. It’s all about the balance!
The fact that he will eat all the food within a couple of days shouldn’t really bother me any more. He will eat a whole block of cheese if he is hungry. It’s just fuel to him. If he is hungry he will eat whatever is in the cupboard. I once bought him a box of 18 mince pies, to last him a week or two. He ate them all. In two days. Now I understand that doing a bigger shop to stock up and save time isn’t an option. Shop every three days. It works better that way.
I hope his carer liked the Danish, and I hope he didn’t eat all the strawberry cheesecakes in one sitting!